


sweet melody, I cry

by aaxbbxx



Series: Written in The Stars • ASTRO oneshots [17]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, but oh well, i feel like I write too many angst sanha, main pairing: socky, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 11:12:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18603370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaxbbxx/pseuds/aaxbbxx
Summary: It was without a doubt, something Sanha had feared on coming true. He just didn’t expect it to happen so suddenly, and so real.





	sweet melody, I cry

**Author's Note:**

> Main: socky

 

Sanha never liked  feeling left out. It was the worst feeling in the world, knowing that everyone knew something he didn’t know and being in the most awkward position of pretending he was fine with it. He was  not .

 

He didn’t like secrets kept from him either, especially when it’s concerning him and something that didn’t even  have to be a secret. But one thing is for sure, when people he was closest to, the one person who he shared everything with, kept something from, you bet Sanha would be quite upset .

 

So when one day Minhyuk suddenly became secretive, dodging questions aimed at him, Sanha became curious as to the reason why he was suddenly behaving that way. But what really bothered him were the knowing smirks of the rest of the members, fueling his assumptions that they knew something he didn’t. One day, he finally found out the meaning of those smiles, and he didn’t know whether to be happy that he finally found out or wished he had stayed in the dark.

 

“S-Sanha!” Minhyuk scrambled up from his seat at the familiar cafe that he and Sanha had frequented often. “W-what are you doing here?”

 

Sanha stared back and forth between a guilty-looking Minhyuk and some guy he didn’t recognize. From the looks of things though, the guy didn’t seem to share his thoughts as the guy introduced himself.

 

“Hello, Sanha, I’m Mark.” 

 

Sanha looked at the way Mark stood closely to Minhyuk, something that reminded him of how Bin would with Eunwoo. He still didn’t say anything, his grip on his iced tea tight and loose at the same time. He darted a glance back at Minhyuk’s twitching fingers, and he put two on two together and he felt  hurt . 

 

“I..uh..” he raised his drink subconsciously, licking his lips.

 

“Sanha–“

 

He turned on his tail before Minhyuk could even start his sentence, leaving the cafe as quick as he could. As he reached the point where he couldn’t be seen from the cafe’s windows, he threw his drink at a nearby trash and sprinted far away, no direction in mind. As long as he could escape, he ran.

 

Sanha must have ran quite a few blocks that by the time he stopped, he leant on a lonesome tree trying to catch his breathing. It was quiet and he looked up to realize he was in a place less crowded than the usual hustle and bustle he was used too, and he had reached a small park, no people in sight. That’s when he slid down the tree and the tears that he had tried to stop, finally flowed down freely down his cheeks.

 

Sanha didn’t sob, didn’t make a noise. He was just sat there staring blankly at the ground, silent rush of tears streaming down his face. 

 

Minhyuk had been happy lately, happier than usual. Sanha noticed he’d be on his phone more often than usual, sometimes laughing to himself. He asked him a few times what was so funny but Minhyuk would just wave him off – “ just a meme Sanha, nothing much” – and leave, Sanha wondering why Minhyuk was lying. As of late, he noticed some of the members, if not all, staring at him with sad and pitying looks, and now he knew why. 

 

It wasn’t a secret that Sanha  liked Minhyuk, heck he admits he  loved Minhyuk. The other members, except Minhyuk, had found out about his feelings for the young rapper a few months before their All Light comeback. They had teased him about it, but were pretty supportive, promising him that they would keep it to themselves until he was ready to tell Minhyuk himself. That wasn’t happening anymore.

 

He felt hurt and betrayed knowing that the people he trusted the must didn’t even warn him about Minhyuk’s newly found  relationship . Were they trying to keep it a secret all this time? He felt despair wash through him as he realized the person he had confided in, the person he fully trusted not to keep him in the dark about anything, didn’t even had the guts to tell him how he was  gay , much less in a  relationship . Did Minhyuk think he wouldn’t accept him? He was in the same boat as him, fucking  in love with him even.

 

Sanha realized, as much as he trusted them, they didn’t trust him at all.

 

———

 

Sanha didn’t know how long he had stayed there, but some older lady had tapped him on the shoulder and looked down at him sadly asking him if he was alright. He had stared blankly at her and she told him, “ whatever it is young man, you can get through it ” and she had stayed with him for a few minutes until he can find it with himself to stand and thank her for her company (“ you remind me of my grandson, and I’d be mad at myself to leave such a young boy all by his lonesome ”) .

 

By the time he got back to the dorm, it was almost midnight, deciding to walk home slowly and doing detours here and there to avoid the inevitable. When he had looked at his phone, there were several missed calls from each of the members and a bunch of text messages asking him where he was and that they were worried about him. Minhyuk's messages were filled with apologies along with worries about him not being home yet and i f you can please come home ? Sanha had scoffed and stuffed his phone back in his pocket after just shutting it off.

 

As he got closer to their front door, he could hear raised voices and he leant on the door for awhile, not solely ready to enter into chaos just yet.

 

"WHERE THE HELL IS THAT KID?" Eunwoo was shouting.

 

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" MJ practically screaming at who Sanha suspects was Minhyuk.

 

"I wonder if he's safe? He's not answering any of our calls or texts." Bin's worried voice carried through the door.

 

"Don't worry MJ hyung, I'm sure he's going to arrive any second." Jin Jin, the ever optimistic leader.

 

"Let's all just calm down please?" Minhyuk's quiet voice cut through.

 

Sanha decided he had heard enough and slotted his key in the door knob entering the dorm in one swift movement. Everyone quieted down and he could feel all eyes were on him as he shucked his jacket off, and placed his keys on the hook, leaving his bag on the floor.

 

"YA! Are you not going to say anything? Apologize for making us worry about you?" MJ said loudly, getting angry, shaking off Jin Jin's hand on his shoulder. "I'm talking to you Yoon Sanha!"

 

Sanha kept quiet but didn't try to hide his small scoff.

 

He saw MJ moving towards him. "What did you just–" but he was stopped by Bin and Jin Jin. The other two looking at him with concern.

 

Sanha rolled his eyes. "Can I go sleep now? It's late."

 

MJ just looked angrier, and was about to say something when Jin Jin cut him off.

 

"Okay, but we're talking about this tomorrow. I can't believe you'd do that to us Sanha, at least you could have told us where you were, trust us to–"

 

"Trust you?" Sanha spat out, and he could see everyone taken aback. "Like you trust me right? Like you wouldn't keep things from me right?" He said pointedly at each of them, and he could see Minhyuk flinching at his tone.

 

"Why would I trust you when you can't even have the decency to have the same confidence in me?"

 

"Sanha..." Minhyuk reached out to him, but he stepped aside.

 

"If you feel the least bit of worry and trust, let me be alone tonight." He said before pushing past all of them and went to the direction of Eunwoo's single room, locking the door and shutting the lights off, collapsing on the floor.

 

He shuffled across towards the corner of the room and curled up there with his head on top of his knees. He felt guilty at screaming at all of them, but he also felt anger at them for making him look like a fool. Just because he was the youngest, doesn't mean they could just dismiss him like that. He thought they were sincere when they said he could trust in them but it was all bullshit.

 

Sanha could hear distant voices and shuffling in the living room. He glanced at the small strip at the bottom of the door, seeing shadows of his hyungs, until the lights too turned off, basking him in the shadows, the only light from the moon shining through the window.

 

He buried his head back into his knees, and just cried. 

 

––

 

Sanha startled when he felt himself being lifted and placed in bed, before a body slid from behind him pulling him towards their chest. He stiffened as he recognized the person and meant to get off, but that person tightened their arms around him.

 

"I'm so sorry Sanha."

 

Sanha squeezed his eyes shut as he shook his head, trying to break free of Minhyuk's hold.

 

"I didn't tell you at first, because I was scared you wouldn't accept me anymore. I realized, when I saw you're reaction earlier, I should have said something and...I'm sorry..." the words were said softly, apologetic and Sanha felt tears fall.

 

"I just...I forgot...I knew how you felt about secrets, I promised you we'd never have one with each other...but I broke that..I understand you're angry, but please...just." Minhyuk forced him to turn but he didn't open his eyes. He felt him lean down and press a remorseful kiss on his forehead. "Forgive me, Sanha."

 

Minutes passed with Minhyuk's strings of endless 'sorry' falling from his mouth, when finally Sanha spoke, voice hoarse.

 

"I wouldn't have looked at you any different, no matter what you're preference was." He trailed his eyes on the shadow of Minhyuk's form. "I just felt hurt I guess...and betrayed that you couldn't trust me enough to know I would never do that to you."

 

"I know, and I'm sorry." Minhyuk mumbled into the crown of his head.

 

Sanha sighed. "Okay."

 

"Thank you." Minhyuk brought him closer and planted a kiss on his head. "I was worried about you when you left, I tried to run after you but by the time I got out of the cafe, you disappeared...then I called the hyungs, and they were as worried as me. They were just concerned for you, Sanha."

 

Sanha knew that, and he'll apologize to them in the morning. 

 

"Who was he?" Sanha asked quietly. "Mark?"

 

"Oh." Minhyuk let out, and Sanha could tell the change in his tone, felt his heart squeeze painfully at the implication. "He's someone I met in one of the piano classes. He's amazing, almost as good as Eunwoo hyung. He's the same age as you actually and we just sort of clicked and–"

 

"I'm tired." Sanha cut him off, didn't care if he sounded rude, he just wanted him to stop gushing about  Mark and all the  great things about this boy.

 

Minhyuk didn't seem to notice his change, felt him nod and say, "Okay, go to sleep Sanha."

 

Sanha didn't get to sleep a wink that night.

 

 

––––

 

The next few days were stunted at best. Although they had all apologized to each other following the aftermath, there was a tension between the two youngest that wasn't there before.

 

Sanha knew he was being a coward, but he couldn't seem to bear the thought that Minhyuk was with someone. Although he said he had forgiven the older for keeping things from him, he knew he wasn't acting like it.

 

Few days later, found Sanha once again avoiding to be left alone with Minhyuk. And if they had interviews and shoots to get to, he'd make sure to grab the seat furthest away from the rapper. Nowadays, he has been spending more time with Jin Jin and MJ, didn't care if he was basically third wheeling, as long as he wasn't left to deal with whatever was the problem between him and Minhyuk.

 

Now, the three of them were in Sulbing, a Korean dessert cafe they were models for, and Sanha was playing with his Strawberry Yoghurt Bingsu, tapping his spoon again and again on the dessert.

 

"Sanha, stop playing with food." Jin Jin scolded him lightly, and Sanha sat up and gave a quick apology, releasing his hold on his spoon.

 

Across from him sat MJ and Jin Jin, enjoying their own desserts, halfway being demolished. 

 

"Sanha-shi, why aren't you eating?" MJ eyed his still uneaten dessert. "It's your favourite."

 

Sanha merely shrugged, and he sees MJ and Jin Jin exchange glances with each other, and seemed to be nudging each other about something. Sanha sighed and leaned back into the booth.

 

"What is it? Spit it out." The two turned to him, caught red-handed, before they gave him awkward smiles, putting down their spoons.

 

"Uh, Sanha, don't get us wrong," MJ started.

 

"But we noticed how uhm..." Jin Jin glanced at MJ then back to him. "You seem to be avoiding Minhyuk lately."

 

MJ nodded in agreement, and again Sanha sighed. There was no getting past the two oldest.

 

"Yes, I have." He told them the truth and picked up his spoon to scoop a small bit of strawberry into his mouth.

 

"Why?" Sanha looked at MJ then at Jin Jin's equally curious and concerned gaze, and set his spoon back down and looked at his dessert blankly.

 

"Because I don't know how to act around him. Because every time I'm near him, it just reminds me that he has someone else and I could never be that person, and it hurts." He glanced up at the stunned looks of his two hyungs. "Does that satisfy your curiosity?"

 

MJ cleared his throat. "But Sanha–"

 

"I don't want to hear it hyung. Can we just eat and not talk about Minhyuk ever? Please?"

 

MJ opened his mouth to say something, but Jin Jin shook his head.

 

"Alright."

 

So they left it at that, and for the rest of the day, MJ and Jin Jin treated him to whatever he wanted to do, and he knew it was just to cheer him up and he felt grateful.

 

–––

 

For the rest of the weeks, Minhyuk would give him a sad look but Sanha pretended to not see it. Sometimes, Minhyuk would come up to him and ask him if he could listen to him play some piano, but Sanha pretended he was too busy.

 

So imagine his shock to hear Minhyuk's soft voice playing from his earphones.

 

Sanha had been on instagram scrolling through, when a post from  minhyuk202523 had appeared. He blinked his eyes at the caption, then he scrambled to plug in his earphones to listen to Minhyuk's cover of 'Every day Every moment' by Paul Kim, one of his favourite artists and songs.

 

It was unfair, Sanha thinks blinking past the tears that gathered in his eyes.

 

Why did he have to fall in love with someone who could never love him back?

 

 

–––

 

Another two days came and went, then  minhyuk202523  posted another cover, another one of Sanha's favourites, 'Me After You" by Paul Kim. Too bad it wasn't for him.

 

Sanha was sure the universe hated him. He was hiding in one of many practice rooms in Fantagio as he listened to Minhyuk's soft, passionate voice. At this point, he didn't know what to do with himself.

 

The room was dark, the only light illuminating from his phone. The song was fitting, he thinks as he sat on the floor. Though they were never together, they had shared a lot over the years, and Sanha realized just how much he changed and how much he just fell deeper for one Park Minhyuk.

 

He was startled at the flash of light suddenly streaming in the dark room. He glanced up, blinking as his eyes adjusted, then he gasped as he was met with Minhyuk's gaze.

 

"I've been looking for you."

 

Sanha didn't move from his spot. "Y-you were?"

 

Minhyuk closed the door, leaving them in the dark again, and he shuffled closer then sat across from Sanha. "Mh-hmm, I wanted to talk."

 

"Talk?" Sanha giggled nervously. "Why? Do we have something to talk about? I don't think we need to talk. There's nothing to talk abo–"

 

"Sanha." He quieted at that.

 

They were silent until, "You heard it then?"

 

Sanha snapped his head up. "Huh?"

 

Minhyuk gestured to his open phone, "The song."

 

Sanha looked down at his phone, fingers itching to shut if off. 

 

"It's for you. Just like the last one."

 

Sanha's head snapped back up so quick and he squealed. "What?!"

 

Minhyuk smiled at him sadly, before shrugging. "You were busy to hear me play, so I posted it instead, hoping you'd see it."

 

Sanha felt guilty for having avoided him. "Minhyuk–"

 

"I get it, I broke our trust, and you probably feel awkard around me because I'm–"

 

"I'm gay!" 

 

Sanha covered his face as soon as the words left his mouth. He peeked at Minhyuk, to see the rapper looking surprised.

 

"It's not because I'm awkward around you for finding out you're gay, because I am as well, and heck, almost everyone in our group is gay as fuck."

 

"Then why the hell are you avoiding me?" Minhyuk demanded, voice close to anger but not quite.

 

"Because I'm in love with you and you're with someone else!" He screamed out before burying his head in his knees, dropping his phone on the floor, still turned on.

 

It was silent for a few minutes, Sanha's heart dropping as the silence stretched, waiting for his heart to break once Minhyuk give him his rejection.

 

Sanha felt his head being lifted, and he tried to fight it off but Minhyuk was stronger and eventually he was staring at Minhyuk's smiling face –  wait, smiling? – and he felt confused.

 

"Now why would you think I'm dating someone?" 

 

Suddenly, Sanha frowned. "Aren't you dating Mark?"

 

Minhyuk laughed and shook his head. "No! Ew! He's just a friend Sanha, and he's been teaching me to play the piano for you."

 

Sanha blinked his eyes. "For...me?"

 

Minhyuk sighed and ran his hands through Sanha's hair. "Yes, I was planning to confess to you, and all the hyungs knew, that's why they looked so guilty because I told them to keep that a secret."

 

"Wait, the hyungs knew?" He screeched. "They knew I liked you and I thought they were keeping your relationship  from me!"

 

"No, why would I be in another relationship?"

 

"I don't know!" 

 

Sanha pouted up at Minhyuk.

 

"Is that why you've been avoiding me? Because you thought I was dating Mark?"

Minhyuk sounded smug, and Sanha wanted to smack him.

 

"...Yes."

 

"You're silly."

 

Before Sanha could reply, Minhyuk leaned down and pressed their lips together, and suddenly he didn't want to say much after that.

 

The kiss was chaste and soft, languid and unhurried. Sanha tilted his head back as Minhyuk pressed closer, his knee falling down flat on the ground so Minhyuk could straddle him instead.

 

"I'm glad you fell in love with me, because I love you too." Minhyuk whispered agaisnt his lips. "Now, can you stop avoiding me so I can ask you to be mine?"

 

Sanha laughed quietly and nodded, then was rewarded by Minhyuk pressing close to him again, taking his mouth with his own.

 

 

–––

 

When they came home to the dorm later, they were greeted by knowing smirks, and Sanha buried his flushed cheeks in Rocky's shoulder, squealing an embarrassed sound.

 

"Does this mean, no more awkward tension? Because damn, that was suffocating."

 

"Bin hyung!" Sanha snapped his head up and glared at the teasing face of the rest of the members laughing along with Bin.

 

The rest of the hyungs had more fun teasing him about it, until night time fell and they all head on to bed.

 

Hours later, when Sanha was waken by someone slipping into his bed with him, he smiled sleepily as familiar arms wrapped around him.

 

"Wanna know a secret?" Minhyuk whispered against his ear.

 

Sanha nodded, half-asleep, curling into his boyfriend's –  can't believe Minhyuk was his boyfriend now –  arms.

 

"I love you." 

 

Sanha decided, maybe he liked secrets after all.

 

 

 

 


End file.
